Peer Advice: Starting Therapy in Grad School and Tips on Managing Mental Health

I will always remember my 3rd week of graduate school. I had taken my first exam and proficiency at MBKU. I felt very confident in all my answers and my skills. But when I received my scores back, I was shocked—I had spectacularly failed both.

I was distraught. While it was not the first time I had failed an exam, it really struck my confidence because I felt so sure in my abilities to do well. But it turns out I didn’t know the material as well as I thought I did.

Shortly after, it was time to take another proficiency, and I was prepared to redeem myself. I stayed late in After Hours, practicing with as many people as possible. I walked into the exam room, ready to prove myself.

But fate was not with me that day. I somehow scored even worse on the second proficiency than the first. I was now in jeopardy of failing the class. My mental health went completely down the gutter. I felt irredeemable. I started to spiral. I couldn’t help but think, “How did I even get into this school?” My undergrad academic experience felt like child’s play compared to what I was going through now. I was crashing out and I didn’t know what to do.

Amidst my struggle, I had remembered from orientation week about the counseling services that MBKU offers. I reached out to Dr. Kirschen, the Director of University Student Counseling Services, on advice on how to manage my situation. She educated me about MBKU’s special arrangement with Hope Counseling Center (HCC), which provides counseling to MBKU students by HCC graduate students who are studying to become therapists at a reduced cost. With Dr. Kirschen’s help, I was able to set up weekly appointments with an HCC graduate student to help me manage my mental health while at MBKU.

Starting therapy in graduate school was one of the best decisions I had ever made. It was nice being able to go to someone and talk about what I was experiencing. She was able to give me tips and tricks on how to manage my burnout and my reactions to my failures. I felt like I had better control of my mental health, and with her help, I was able to pass my final proficiency and ultimately pass the class!

While I wouldn’t call myself an expert by any means in mental health and wellness, I would like to pass along some tips I have learned with the help of therapy throughout my 1^st year that helped me succeed and manage my burnout in graduate school:

1. Therapy is for everyone! I was afraid of starting therapy in the past because I felt like my problems were not “bad enough” to start seeking counseling services. But whatever you are going through (whether it’s bad grades, relationship issues, you’re really stressed about needing to make a sandwich, etc.), you are “worthy enough” to go to therapy. I found it nice just to talk to someone for an hour to help me process my week and help me recognize where I was falling short. Don’t be afraid to reach out to Dr. Kirschen for more information about counseling services and mental health resources available at MBKU.

Here are a couple resources from the school to get you started:

2. Your time will be taken up by school, but don’t make school your entire life. Your life will get busy with school, and you might feel the need to study all the time. But don’t let all your free time get consumed by studying/practicing. Studying all the time will only accelerate your progress towards major burnout. Make sure to go on walks, read a book, play some games – whatever you like to do, always make sure you plan out time to do what you love that is not related to school whatsoever. There’s so much to do in Southern California, and I recommend checking out the other blog posts for inspiration on things to do! I personally love going to Disneyland/concerts/conventions, running around the neighborhood, swimming at the beach, and playing video games.

3. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable. I promise that you are not the only person struggling in graduate school. Life at MBKU is fun but challenging. I personally found it very helpful to share my failures with my classmates, because it made me realize that I am not the only person finding the material difficult. What I also found out is that my friends were often better than me at some skills, whereas I was better at other skills. We were able to vent our frustrations with each other, and we would then be able to help each other succeed and pass all our exams! I also found it very helpful to reach out to professors when I was struggling. MBKU is truly a community, and the professors understand how difficult school can be, because they did it themselves. But, they made it to the end and they are there to help you get to the end as well. If I was struggling in a particular class or topic, I would reach out to the professor for additional help, going over my mistakes, and how to do better in the future.

4. Don’t get hung up on your failures. Everyone wants to do well, but there will come a point in graduate school where you might not do as well as you hoped. This is okay! Allow yourself to cry, be mad, whatever you need to do to acknowledge what happened, but then focus and redirect about how to do better in the future. I feel like I learned much more about how to be a better clinician through reflecting on my failed attempts than when I barely scraped by and passed.

5. Celebrate your wins! Every win, no matter how big or small, is worth celebrating! Hype yourself up for that A on the last exam! Cheer yourself on to meal prep for the week! Smile because you got out of bed for lab today! Be proud of yourself that you are here and put in the effort. Celebrating every win, especially the small ones, is what is going to keep you going to achieve higher than before.

All in all, always remember that you belong here at MBKU and that you can do anything life throws at you! Take care of yourself and eat your meals. And if you ever question if you deserve that sweet treat, the answer is yes <3

Sincerely,

Laura Bautista, SCCO Class of 2028