Nothing really prepares you for the transition into graduate school — whether you’re coming straight from undergrad or returning after a few years. What made it especially real for me was leaving the Bay Area, the only place I have ever called home.
I was leaving behind the routines I never thought twice about: familiar roads, my favorite food spots, quick drives to see the people I loved. And somehow, a long-distance relationship makes that distance feel even wider. It turns every goodbye into something heavier and every visit into something you count down toward.
This time last year, I was standing at the edge of that change, equally excited and anxious as I stepped into my first year of optometry school. Looking back now, I want to share a few things I’ve learned about what it means to leave a place you love while slowly building a life somewhere entirely new.
At first, the academic calendar feels less like a schedule and more like something you’re trying to survive. Between classes, labs, proficiencies, and exams, the weeks blur together quickly. But hidden inside all of it are small pockets of time, where you can go home, or let pieces of home come to you.
As someone navigating a long-distance relationship, I learned to pay close attention to those openings. To not wait for the “perfect” time to go home or have someone come to you, but to jump toward the opportunity whenever it appeared, even if it was brief.
The first small breather comes quickly with Labor Day weekend, giving you three days off early in the quarter, when everything still feels unfamiliar and overwhelming. It almost feels too soon to step away, but I learned quickly that rest doesn’t have to wait until you feel ready for it. Sometimes you just have to let yourself take it.
I also didn’t expect how uneven the schedule could feel in the best way. At first glance, it looks impossibly full, but once the quarter begins, you start to notice the rhythm of it all. Not every lab meets every week. Not every day carries the same weight. Some Thursdays, I found myself unexpectedly free with enough space to say yes when someone asked to visit or enough time to feel like myself outside of school again.
Even finals season held small surprises. My last exam of fall quarter ended on a Tuesday afternoon, leaving nearly a week before winter quarter began. At the time, I didn’t think much of it, but looking back now, I would’ve gone home. Though I wasn’t able to plan a trip up to NorCal, I found ways to fill this week with a trip down to San Diego, where we went tidepooling!
Then comes Thanksgiving break — an entire week off that felt both needed and unfamiliar. Before optometry school, I hadn’t had a true fall break since high school. Trust me when I say: do not spend the entire break studying. Let yourself miss school a little.
December brings winter break; coming from a semester system, I wasn’t used to this kind of pause in the middle of everything. I worried that slowing down meant falling behind. But one of the biggest things I’m still learning is that rest and ambition can exist together. You are allowed to enjoy your break fully. Go on trips. Stay home. Spend time with loved ones. Sleep in. School will still be there when you return.
Winter quarter can feel especially long because there are several breaks built into it, but before you know it, spring break arrives in February. It definitely feels early, but it’s one of the first breaks where you truly have no responsibilities hanging over you. Take advantage of that time to recharge.
And then spring quarter arrives. This is when I truly could not have gotten through the quarter without my support system. The friends you make in optometry school will understand you like no other, so lean on each other!
The pace shifts from one exam a week to two exams and a proficiency almost every week. There were moments when I struggled to figure out when to rest and when to push through. But I kept reminding myself that so many people had done this before me, and that made it feel possible. Despite spring quarter being the busiest quarter, I was still able to find time with loved ones; a lighter exam week. A Thursday exam instead of a Tuesday one allowed time for visits from loved ones. Those little windows of time can make a bigger difference than you think!
Some Smaller Notes:
-
SoCal water tastes different, especially if you grew up in NorCal or the PNW
- OC should stand for “Only Cafes” – you will find your spot
- Bring a jacket to lecture, even if it’s 90° outside
- John Wayne Airport > LAX
- Brea Mall is close enough for you to get heytea during lunch
- Local EBT/SNAP benefits guide
- Sushi/onigiri from Tokyo Central
- Smoothie/coffee bar at Bristol Farms or Whole Foods
- Lifestyle compatibility matters when choosing roommates, especially in grad school
-
Shoutout to my amazing roomies <3
-
Over the course of my first year, I learned that you will adapt. This will begin to feel normal, and soon enough, you will find balance. There’s a quote I read during undergrad that I continue to hold with me: "What a privilege it is to be tired in the pursuit of a challenge of your own choosing.” While it may get difficult and overwhelming, how you choose to frame your mindset changes your experience. I encourage you to look ahead in the schedule and find the hidden moments to fill your cup. I learned to cherish the time I had with loved ones all the more.